Caleb Cian: Tough Mudder 2011

I ran Tough Mudder Tampa 12/4/2011 with Dahlia and her friend Alba. We also had Dahlia’s daughter Kasi and her nephew Gabrielle join us as spectators to the event, so we got some great photographs Kasi took with her cell phone (below).

Somebody… decided that we needed to run 15 miles the day before just to make sure we were well and completely challenged by the Tough Mudder course. It worked. By the end of the run, my legs were leaden and totally cramping up and I had to just limp and hobble to the finish line.

The morning started early, we woke at 5am, loaded up and collected everyone for the drive out to Dade City. We got there and were in line for registration at about 8am, finished registration in time to join our 8:20am stage release. Alba joined us despite her assigned start being 11:20, which was nice because we were worried she wouldn’t be able to join us.

A guy gave a high-school pep rally type event. He was good at it, the crowd was into it and we were all shouting “HOO RAH” in unison. We listened to the national anthem and pledged the tough mudder pledge which emphasizes teamwork and collaboration instead of individual performance. They did not keep times for the event, its not billed as a “race”. Although they have winners so…. Whatever. They released our stage and we ran off together, over the course and obstacles.

The course was 12 miles.

Steeplechase: jump walls and ditches. Easy. Dahlia caught Alba dodging them and punked her out. lol.

Chernobyl Jacuzzi:
This was an ice bath. They set up a big trash bin the size of a shipping container with water and tons of ice. Participants ran up a ramp on one side and had to jump into the vat. We jumped together, ducked under the board intended to ensure that everyone was fully immersed, and scrambled our way out. I told Dahlia and Alba later they looked like drowned cats scrambling to get out. They ended up scrambling to the side, instead of the end, which was bad because there was no way down from the side and they had to keep climbing along the side to the end to get out.

Underwater tunnels:
Easy. Water was shallow, and after the Jacuzzi, the water felt warm. There was no “tunnel” involved, just duck under some floating barrels. It did not require swimming, we waded.

Up and around we ran past some of the later obstacles. Kasi got some video here.

Mud: we had to climb under barbwire and through some mud. This sounds harder than it is. You get muddy but its not hard.

Mystery challenge was a series of swinging tires. Earlier runners set the tires swinging, making it harder for later runners. Dahlia kindly made sure it was challenging enough for Alba.

Piles of Hay: We had to climb over stacks of high hay bales. It wasn’t too bad, could easily be done solo.

Pit stop: I hit the porta potty challenge here while the women skipped it. I was pleased to see the potties had been kept clean. Surprising, really.

Lots of mud: we had to wade through mud where they had dug deep pits under the water, making it hard to predict when your foot would land. There were many portions of the trail that were mudpits. The ‘advertised’ trail didn’t mark nearly as many mudwallows as there actually were.

Net: we climbed over a net. People were kindly holding the net so it was easier to climb, we held it for the next group.

Devil’s Beard Net: we climbed under a net, which was pretty easy. It was loose enough I just walked with my back holding up the net. We held it up for the next group, but it wasn’t really necessary.

Ball Shrinker: a single rope line across a small pond. The rope stretched as people crossed the line, and you end up with you back in the water as you pull yourself with your arms across, with your feet holding you on the rope. I got on behind Dahlia, starting when she was about halfway.

Well, the first half is a lot easier than the second half. I zoomed down the line to the middle where my back was in the water in like 15 seconds, then stopped where Dahlia was stuck on the line. She was struggling to go up, and my getting on behind her made it harder. She pulled herself a bit more, then hopped off. So I pulled up a bit more to get to the shore, but found the ‘up’ a hella lot harder than the down. Next time, to help the guy in front Im going to get UNDER the line from the start and boost the person sliding down the line.

Twinkle Toes: a balance beam across some water. Sixty feet or more. The beam is at least 3 inches wide. The problem is that near the middle, it starts shaking under your weight. If you can get past the middle you’ll be good. Also, the beam is muddy from all the people in front of you with muddy feet crossing, so it is slick.

Berlin Walls: 12 foot high walls. These are impossible to get over solo, they require help. Each time I got there, there were a couple big guys helping people over. I did help one big tall guy over one, but needed massive help on my last set, my legs were lead by the time I got there, I couldn’t even bend them to put them into the guys hand. Eventually, I got my legs bent and straightened back out but I definitely found these walls to be HARD. Especially the second set, which came later.

High dive: We got here after more than half the run. We climbed up, which was harder than it may sound, and Dahlia told me to jump first. I refused … don’t know why now. I was confused. Next time, I’m going in first. Dahlia told the minder at the top that she was concerned about swimming. He pointed out the lifeguard. He may have signaled the guy, too. Because Dahlia and Alba immediately set to jump together, then Dahlia jumped. I was amazed at her courage. The lifeguard was swimming out to her before she even surfaced. He wrapped her in a floatie, and I felt a huge weight lift off me too. Alba got set to jump again, squatted down and… and… jumped. Lol like the two foot squat saved her anything off a 5 meter jump. I jumped after her and it was easier to hit the water than I expected.

Culvert into mud: They placed a drainage culvert above and down into a mudpuddle, then another was placed to allow you to climb back out. I found this far easier to do than I had expected. I went down in a flash, it was smooth plastic and I was wet. I felt like a seal or a penguin launching into the water from a glacier, I slid down so fast. Up was harder. I would have been more scared if the water had been higher up on the tubes, but it covered less than half the culvert. I did that when I was a 10 year old kid. Got in trouble for it too, when the daft kid down the street told my mom.

Hills of mud: Big piles of dirt the trail led across. 4 of 5 piles. Some of this dirt was loose, the piles were huge, possibly 2 stories tall.

Jumping bail: It was just impossible to jump from one bail of hay to the next they were probably 10 feet apart. I had to jump down and climb back up. Crawling across was a pain, the hay was scratchy. Dahlia was just swinging her legs around, it seemed like a better way to me, I did that for the last one.

Fire: we went through some more ditches and water, and ran some distance. Then we ran between some burning bales of hay. The ground was fairly solid. The fires didn’t seem that high or hot to me. There was a lot of smoke. I had to hold my breath while running which really is a bit of a challenge.

Monkey Bars: more distance before we found these. My legs were made of lead by the time we got here. Lead pulled me down after just two bars. I’m going to have to work on my grip. Dahlia and Alba didn’t fair much better, I don’t think.

I was hurting by now, had to really focus to run. I wanted to just walk and rest but I couldn’t let Dahlia and Alba run off without me. But they clearly slowed down to let me keep up.

Net in the air: There was a net suspended between two high platforms. I had trouble just climbing the ladder up to the platform. Across the net was easy, we just rolled across. Of course I’m not scared of heights like Alba. I’ll have to ask her how this was for her.

EVEREST:

This is the huge challenge of the run. Chernobyl Jacuzzi is rough, but it’s just to be endured. This was genuinely hard. Kasi got a great video of this, check it out.

Each of us made 3 or 4 attempts before we made it. None of us made it without help. Dahlia and Alba got up first. They caught a guys hands and one or two guys just lifted them, it was great. Many of the women trying had a real genuinely hard time even getting to where they could catch someone’s hand. As for me, I honestly didn’t think I could do it. I waited a bit to rest my legs, and made a run for it. 3rd try, I caught a guys hands and he hauled me up to the point where I got my elbows onto the edge. From there it was almost easy.

I felt bad for not helping the next guy but I was wrung out like a sponge and didn’t think I would be able to lift anyone.

Electroshock therapy: This was not nearly as painful as it looks. I got shocked 3 or 4 times while going through. 10,000 volts yes, but what was the amperage on this?

Finish: I actually drank beer. It tasted wonderful.

I want to say... I am impressed with Dahlia and Alba's courage and toughness. They were still strong at the end while I just barely limped in. I am very pleased that nobody was hurt and I think it would be easy for someone to get hurt at this event.

Gabrielle and Kasi apparently had fun also and said they'd run next year.

At work, two guys have told me they are running Tough Mudder in 2012. Eddie Monzon and Brian Schrier. I am going to hold them to it. 2012, we'll make an official team and get everyone going early.